Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  21

  Did You Ever Hear a Non-Witness Opinion After They'd Attended Their first Meeting?

  by snugglebunny in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was about 12. i took a friend along to a meeting and he said he didn't mind learning stuff but it was a shame it was so boring.. i was about 14. i had my very own bible study and took him along.

  he just kept whispering about the girls there that he fancied.. i was in my early 20's.

  i took along a lady that i knew.

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  Sail Away

  Yes, I gave a meeting schedule to a woman who then showed up at the Congregation Book Study at the KH (before it became the Congregatoin Bible Study). We were studying the Revelation Climax book. She said it was "just plain crazy" and never came to another meeting. Deep down inside I agreed with her.
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  11

  Cognitive Dissonance Runs Deep

  by vinman in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  while it is true that maybe 1 or 2 things woke you up (like myself), it is interesting to reflect on the reality of what you did not believe, even if you were a true believer and would of died for the organization.

  here is my list (not a complete list, i'm sure their is more).

  what is your list like?.

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  Sail Away

  Yes, cognitive dissonance does run deep. There is a lot of wisdom in JWDaughter's post. Some stay out of loyalty; I stayed out of fear for my family's lives. I was the last JW standing in my family. I bought the line that I needed to remain loyal to Jehovah and the organization so my family would have a reason to come back. This is pure, unadulterated emotional blackmail. All exJWs do reach a tipping point. I did after over four decades of cognitive dissonance:

  I never served with the hope of living in a paradise earth. My grandfather had molested me as a child, and I had no desire to live with him forever. Later as a wife and mother, I had no desire to be in paradise without my husband and children who were no longer JWs. If I was in paradise without them, in order to be happy, wouldn't Jehovah has to erase all memory of them? Who would that be in paradise? It wouldn't be me. I was a wife and a mother.

  I regretted giving up a college education to "pioneer where the need was great". Why did I have to quash my desire to learn and explore my creativity to serve God? Wouldn't He want me to use all of my talents to serve Him? Even as an all-in JW, I made sure my kids knew they had the choice to go to college to pursue their interests and talents.

  It broke my heart that a dear friend deeply desired to have a child, and her elder husband insisted they wait until after Armegeddon. In the late '70s and early '80s there was a lot of pressure not to have children. Why would a loving God create in a woman the deep desire to have a child, and then demand that she wait a thousand years or more. This woman became a shawdow of her former self.

  Stay married at all costs. Adultry is the only grounds for divorce. As a teen I was horrified by an experience given at a Circuit Assembly. A JW wife stayed with her raging and physically abusive husband in order to "win him without a word". She even allowed another JW couple to raise her daughter in order to keep her safe from his abuse. Wasn't it the mom's responsibility to raise her dauther in "The Truth"? Jehovah blessed the wife and "called her to peace" when he died of a heart attack. Seriously?

  A loyal pioneer wife separated (not legally) from her abusive husband. They lived apart, but she continued to go to his home, make him meals and have sex with him in order to fulfill her "wifely duty". You can make this stuff up.

  Another dear friend stayed married to her bi-sexual unfaithful husband, because he didn't commit adultery. Adultery was defined to be between a man and a woman. A decade later, when he cheated again, she was free to remary, because the new definition of porneia included homosexuality. By then she felt she was too old to divorce, and they are financially dependent on each other. They are not legally separated, but live in separate apartments on separate floors in their home. He is DF'd. She can't pioneer, because she is "not living an exemplary life". Legalism to the extreme.

  As some point in studying the Isaiah book, I discovered that the chronology around 1914 was off. I approached the elders. They couldn't help me, so they suggested I write to Bethel. I did and got a 6-page response that did not address the discrepancy. The elders asked if I understood the explanation. I said I did. I understood that they didn't have an answer.

  I also wrote to Bethel about blood fractions. They wrote back that I had all the information I needed to make an informed conscientious decision as a faithful Christian. They didn't address the flaws in the doctrine at all.

  As others have mentioned, I never bought the Revelation Climax book and its far-fetched application of modern-day events as fulfillment of prophesy. Do you remember having to go through the book and edit out all of the changes? "New light?" I find that so ludicrous now. What was I thinking? I didn't believe it the first time, and I certainly didn't by the "New Light."

  My first thought when hearing the "Overlapping Generation" doctrine was, "That's crap!!!" I literally laughed to the point of having to leave my seat at the D.C. when, after a big build up to a change in the understanding of Daniel's dream image, they announced, 'The toes in the image have no special meaning.' After decades of pouring over their teachings on endtimes prophesy, were they now saying we are no longer living in "The End of this System of Things?"

  Unloving legalism around disfellowshipping and shunning nearly killed me. It landed me in a 3-month Intensive Out-patient Program for severe clinical depression and PTSD.

  I remember standing in the bathroom in my DF'd daughter-in-law's hospital room pleading with two elders on the telephone to come and shepherd our family. My DIL was dying of cancer. Her mom, my son and I were all still loyal JWs. I asked them, "Where is the mercy and love?" They reprimanded me for being disrespectful of their authority, but later condescended to visit in the family room at the hospital. They refused to enter her hospital room, and my son refused to leave his wife's side.

  Later when my son was struggling with the aftermath of all of this, he was living with us and was DF'd. He had understandably acted out in his pain. I knew I would be required to shun him once he left our home. Why was it OK to have a relationship with my daughter who walked away from the organization at age 17 by simply "respectfully declining" a shepherding call. She had commited the same "sins" my son was DF'd for. The elders told me when she returned she would have to deal with the consequenses of her actions. In the meantime, I could have her in my life, but I wouldn't be able to love and support my son at the lowest point in his life. That just wasn't going to happen. Why did the elders kick him to the curb, endangering his life?

  One day at a Service Meeting it all came to a head. I knew that I just could not stand to hear them say one more time , "We need to do more in the ministry because so many people are going to die at Armageddon." That was my tipping point. Somehow my brain heard, "Your kids are going to die!" I walked away a believer, but started researching TTATT within months.

  Vinman, you have another thread about your absorption with TTATT and not knowing what to do with your life post JW. Give it time. I have heard others say it takes a month for every year you were in. That would be 42 months for me, and that timing is about right. Easy does it. There is no hurry. Armageddon isn't coming tomorrow!
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  39

  2016 SPECIAL TALK---ARE YOU ON THE ROAD TO EVERLASTING LIFE?

  by suavojr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you on the road to everlasting life?.

  note to the speaker: help bible students and interested ones to understand why and how to make further spiritual progress..

  emphasize the many sources of help available, and warmly encourage them to act without delay.

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  Sail Away

  I can't even begin to read the outline. Same song, second verse.
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  41

  Ganged up via Telephone

  by vinman in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been fading for about 9 months.

  the elders know exactly why.

  i received a phone call a couple of days ago.

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  Sail Away

  Nicely done! One more willing to stand up to these tyrants! You can be proud of yourself.
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  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  Hi all! Just a quick update-- my lawyer is reviewing my letter and said he will get back to me early this week. I did add a reference to the Australian RC. Also, I incorporated some of Marvin Shilmer's language regarding social contact.

  In the meantime I have made a few phone calls and used some reverse "theocratic warfare" to get the names and addresses of the current congregation secretaries involved. There is some justice in the universe. The congregation secretary in my former sister congregation is the elder that was like an older brother to my son who ultimately played a role in getting him DF'd.
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  40

  Petition for U.S. AG investigation.

  by freemindfade in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  not sure if anything will come of this.

  but i signed it.. https://www.change.org/p/united-states-attorney-general-investigate-the-watchtower-society-of-jehovah-s-witnesses-re-child-sexual-abuse?recruiter=363165656&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink.

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  Sail Away

  Signed
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  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  I DA'd on principal also a few years ago, it certainly opens your eyes to the shunning! I think though if people choose to shun me I don't want to know them as they can't act as decent humans.
  It feels so much better not having anyone hoping I will return or calling me up, having to look over my shoulder etc..

  happy@last, it just feels right to act on principal. Also, I want to be free of the feeling that they can just show up on my doorstep randomly and upset my peace. This is my home. They are not welcome to come here and judge me.

  Last Christmas I was buying holiday wrapping paper, and a JW approached. I thought, "Oh, it's a good thing this only has a winter theme." How ridiculous to still be policing my actions based on their rules. Time to put an end to that.

  SailAway
• 
  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  Well done Sail away--- go out with a bang!
  I was thinking that all JWs should be given the opportunity to know their rights on this matter.
  Then there would be many more ready to leave knowing that the law and human rights are on their side. It is the fear of reprisals which keep the "conscious class" in.

  Hi Half banana! Nice to see you here. It's not so much about going out with a bang for me. It is all about knowing as asserting my rights as a human being. I learned in therapy (DBT) the the WTB$ took away every single one of my Legitimate Human Rights:

  YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHTS

  1. You have a right to need things from others.
  2. You have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
  3. You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain.
  4. You have a right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate.
  5. You have the right to your opinions and convictions.
  6. You have the right to your experience - even if it’s different from that of other people.
  7. You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.
  8. You have a right to negotiate for change.
  9. You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it).
  10. You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish.
  11. You have a right not to justify yourself to others.
  12. You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
  13. You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
  14. You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.

  It is a sad reality that fear of reprisal holds many JWs captive.

  SailAway
• 
  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  Simon Says, thanks for the links about Freedom of Association. I will share the information with my lawyer.

  SailAway
• 
  83

  As a Matter of Conscience, I Am Resigning from the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses

  by Sail Away in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after listening to the hearings of the australian royal commission into institutional responses to child sexual abuse, i am no longer content to have simply walked away from the organization.

  as a matter of conscience, i do not want my name linked with the organization in any way.

  i know this letter has been posted previously, and i thank the author.

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  Sail Away

  sparrowdown
  Imagine what would happen if everyone that left sent a letter like this.
  Vive le revolution!!

  Yes, just imagine!